UFC Lightweight Challenge: Malone Vs. Refrigerator

Oh gosh. I have a story. Yesterday, I may have learned a valuable lesson about Jesus. After my post lambasting Matt Hughes' religious Zealotry on his website, I was walking around my office when suddenly, after a phone conversation that did not go my way, I punched a refrigerator, very, very hard. Since the refrigerator provoked me, I do not feel like a bully in any way. However I would say that the refrigerator took the punch a little better than my hand did.

Yes, unfortunately I am serious.

Now, in fact, I am racing to finish this post so that I can go receive medical care, which is seeming absolutely neccesary now, after 24 hours of swelling and throbbing. I am now typing with one hand even. Hopefully they will give me some painkillers and an x ray and tell me it'll be okay but I think that I will have a hard time keeping my head up as I inform the staff at the hospital what happened. The refrigerator has not sought any professional care but has been smart enough to remain silent since the incident.

Yes, I am crazy. And yes, the day before yesterday I watched a youtube video of "the Iceman" Chuck Liddell giving instructions on how to imitate his enormous side-arm strikes. Did I go sidearm against the Frigidaire? I think so, but when I landed it and threw up an nearly passed out, I hhad forgotten which weapon in my arsenal I had used. But I knew the refrigerator learned its lesson. Lethal Delivery: Postage Prepaid.

Anyways, join the world today in looking down on my ridiculous self-inflicted injury as I apologize to all of you to whom I am a role model.

Also, one of my readers asked yesterday if I grapple. The answer is a resounding no. I am, as I termed myself, one of the most dangerous sit-down typers in the sport, but that's where my participation ends (though that's not what my refrigerator would tell you).